Let's talk about guilt when it comes to grief.
Guilt is an illusion.
We THINK that guilt will undo what has happened.
We THINK that guilt will help us atone for our actions.
We THINK that guilt will take away the pain that we feel.
Guilt makes us think we are doing something when in reality, we are doing nothing at all. It weighs us down completely.
The truth is, guilt is how we try to stay in control of an uncontrollable situation. So what, then, is the underlying emotion behind guilt?
The feelings underneath grief are powerlessness, helplessness, and hopelessness. Until we acknowledge those feelings, we can't move forward.
Next time you feel guilty, say "I FEEL powerless." Allow your emotions to come to the surface. Only by feeling the full weight of those buried emotions can we move forward and heal.
*****
After speaking with many loved ones on the other side, I can tell you with confidence: your loved one does not blame you for anything. In fact, all they want for you is the love and peace that they themselves experience.
There's absolutely nothing to be guilty about.
From the grander spiritual perspective, your loved one chose the timing and manner in which they exited the Earth plane. This was decided before they came to Earth, in the form of a soul contract. So, you can see that their passing wasn't your responsibility whatsoever. Nothing you could have done would have spared them their fate.
Something I hear often is: "I should have been there (when they died)." Remember that God only gives us what we can handle. If you couldn't have handled witnessing the passing, you wouldn't have been there. Witnessing the trauma of the passing could have sparked PTSD. Ask yourself, what was the bigger picture?
If you lacked closure with your loved one, why not put the pen to paper and write your loved one a letter? Or, have a conversation and say out loud all the things you wished they could hear.
It's never too late to find your own sense of peace.